Struggling with my Iman and Fear of Dying in Sin

As-salamu alaykum. Ever since I was little, my parents were very religious. When I was a child they didn’t force prayer too strictly, but after puberty it was expected I’d just know how to keep up with it. I started menstruating at eleven, and from then until now, even as I’ve gotten older, I’ve had a hard time with prayer and my deen in general. As I’ve grown, I’ve become more aware of how distant I feel from Allah and how much I struggle spiritually. Praying the five daily prayers consistently is really difficult for me. Lately I tried to begin with just one prayer to build a habit slowly, but I can’t even keep that up. Whenever I try to explain to my family that I need to take small steps, they say Islam can’t be taken slowly, that what’s obligatory is obligatory, and that missing prayers leads to hell. Hearing that constantly terrifies me. It makes me think if I try to improve gradually and die before I’m fully consistent, I’ll still be doomed. During the day when I slip into sins like listening to music, I don’t always feel immediate guilt. But at night it all catches up and I’m overwhelmed with fear - thinking about my sins and genuinely believing deep down I’m headed for the Fire. People tell me to remember Allah’s mercy, but I was raised mostly on warnings about punishment, not mercy. Because of that, it’s hard for me to feel or understand God’s mercy. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to be close to Allah, but it feels almost impossible. Some nights I don’t pray, then I lie awake for hours terrified I might die and end up in hell. That fear consumes me. I’ve looked for others who feel the same; lots of people struggle, but I haven’t found many who go through this exact experience. I’m sharing because I’m desperate for advice - I’m really struggling and scared of dying in this state. Over the years I get sudden phases where I’m very religious and keep all five prayers for a few weeks, but it never lasts. Then I fall back, feel extreme guilt, and repent. Recently I’ve been repenting every night, but even that scares me - it feels like I’m only repenting out of fear of death, not from sincere remorse, so I worry my tawbah won’t be accepted. I keep questioning my intentions. I know only Allah knows the heart, but I don’t even understand my own intentions anymore. I’m exhausted from living like this. I want nearness to Allah, but fear overwhelms me. Right now it’s 1:48 a.m. and I can’t sleep because I didn’t pray today - I didn’t even manage the one prayer I was trying to keep. I’m terrified I’ll die tonight and end up in hell. I believe the reality of the Fire and its punishment, and I don’t want that for my akhirah. I really don’t know what to do anymore. Please make dua for me and share any advice or steps that helped you slowly build consistency without constant terror.