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Struggling with my feelings about wearing hijab - looking for sisterly advice

As-salaam alaykum sisters. I’ve been feeling quite torn about my hijab recently and would value any advice or shared experiences. I began wearing hijab around 3–4 years ago. It was my choice back then and I felt very close to my deen. Someone very special to me encouraged me (I used to call them my angel on earth) and that support helped me keep it on consistently. I’m no longer in touch with that person now. Lately my relationship with Allah has changed a lot. I’ve been questioning things, not feeling as close to Allah, not praying regularly, and I don’t have the same motivation to practice that I used to. The idea of reconnecting deeply actually feels a bit scary and I’m not sure why. Despite that, some habits remain. I don’t go to sleep or drive without saying my duas and Ayatul Kursi, I still say Alhamdulillah and Astaghfirullah, and I share duas or reminders with people sometimes. It honestly feels like I’m half in, half out when it comes to practising. On top of this, I’ve been dealing with family problems and personal struggles that have left me feeling depressed, alone, and drained - and I know that affects my iman too. About the hijab: I wear it because I want to. No one in my family or my in-laws’ family wears it, so there’s no pressure from them, and I don’t feel forced. But I also don’t want to take it off. My real struggle is when and where I want to wear it. Sometimes, for quick errands or when I’m going to certain places, I don’t feel like wearing it and will just pull a hoodie over my head. I’m starting a new job soon and I don’t plan to wear hijab there, though I’m happy to wear it in other settings. I think part of this is that since I started wearing hijab I felt like I was representing the deen, and that responsibility made me anxious, self-conscious, and reserved. I worry people feel they can’t approach me, or that I can’t be myself because I’m a hijabi. It’s made social situations harder and added internal pressure. I’m already trying to work on my relationship with Allah in my own way, but I’d love specific advice about the hijab. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you handle it? Is it okay to feel conflicted? JazakAllah khair for reading 🤍

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I stopped wearing hijab at work for a while because I felt boxed in, and wore it elsewhere. Nobody’s perfect, and Allah sees intentions. If it helps, keep a private dua routine and don’t rush decisions under guilt or stress.

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Been there. I’d suggest small experiments: try wearing hijab certain days and not others, journal how each day felt, and notice patterns. That helped me figure out what aligns with my iman and mental health.

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You’re not alone. I used to switch between hijab and no-hijab depending on energy levels. It helped once I stopped overthinking other people’s impressions. Take it slow and be kind to yourself, sis.

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I felt this so deeply. What helped was talking to a trusted older sister who’d had doubts too. She reminded me that iman has ups and downs and practice isn’t always perfect. It eased the pressure of ‘representing’ everything.

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Short and real: it’s okay to be conflicted. Your hijab doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing statement. Do what preserves your peace and keeps you feeling safe. And maybe find small supportive circles online or local to vent to.

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As-salaam alaykum, I totally get the confusion. I went through a phase like that - kept some habits but lost the spark. I found small, pressure-free steps helped: wear hijab when it feels right, don’t force it, and focus on tiny worship habits. It’s okay to be unsure, sister.

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I hear you. For me, setting boundaries with the ‘representing deen’ expectation was freeing. Wearing hijab for my comfort, not to teach others, changed how I felt about it. Still have wobbles sometimes though.

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Sending love. I also felt like a walking billboard for a while and it drained me. I started being honest with myself: if I want to wear it for me, do it; if not, pause without guilt. Therapy helped me with the family stress too.

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As-salaam alaykum - I admire your honesty. Depression and life stress make everything harder. Before changing anything big, maybe give yourself permission to rest and get support. Choices made from exhaustion rarely feel right later.

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