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4 months ago

Struggling with My Connection to Islam - Need Some Advice

As-salamu alaykum, everyone. I'm going through a confusing phase with my faith and my relationship with Islam feels complicated. I’d really appreciate some guidance. So, a bit about me: I was raised in a Muslim household. My parents are religious but have a more relaxed approach sometimes because we come from a well-off family. Both of them smoke, they allow me to have female friends, watch movies, and listen to music. My sister is free to wear what she wants as long as it’s modest; they don’t force her to wear the hijab, just advise her gently. But with me, it’s different. They expect me to pray, read the Quran, and strive to be a “better” Muslim. My dad used to make me go to the mosque with him every day, which could get really frustrating. He’d enroll me in Quran classes without asking, and he’d get upset if I refused. My mom encourages me to pray but isn’t strict about it. I’ve moved out for college, and ever since, I can’t stop thinking about Islam and what being a Muslim means to me. Honestly, I don’t enjoy the idea of making wudu and praying five times daily; I’m just lazy by nature. I smoke weed quite a bit and sometimes drink with friends, which I know isn’t right. I also lie sometimes. Recently, I went through a “glow up” - lost weight, built some muscle, got a fresh haircut - and now I get a lot more attention from women. I’ve never had a wife before, so this new attention is affecting how I see relationships. I worry about zina and other serious sins. In short, I sin a lot. I skip prayers and don’t keep up with the Quran, but I still love Islam deeply. I don’t see myself as having left the faith, but some Muslim friends mock me and say I might as well be an ex-Muslim because of how I live. They look down on me for not praying and for doing things that are haram. Sometimes, guilt overwhelms me and I pray for a while, but it usually doesn’t last. It hurts me when I see Islamophobic posts or protests, and I envy those who are more devout. I wish I could be more committed to practicing. What I can’t figure out is why I love Islam so much even though I’m aware of my sins and the consequences. I don’t want to hate the religion, but I’m also not ready to fully practice it - it feels like too much effort, and I’m just too lazy to pray regularly. If anyone can share advice or guidance on how to reconnect with my faith without feeling overwhelmed or lost, I’d be really grateful. JazakAllahu khairan.

+190

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6comments
4 months ago

Sounds like you’re going through a real identity phase. Just take things slow, man. It’s okay to not have all the answers now.

+12
4 months ago

Just remember, nobody’s perfect bro. Islam’s about trying your best. Maybe focus on the parts that make you feel good and build from there.

+12
4 months ago

Man, I feel you. It’s tough balancing what you believe with what you actually do. Maybe start small, like one prayer a day or reading a verse. Don’t beat yourself up, faith isn’t a race.

+15
4 months ago

I used to skip prayers too and felt the same guilt. What helped me was talking to an imam who didn’t judge. Try to find someone like that to talk with.

+17
4 months ago

Honestly, being lazy about prayers is normal lol. I think if you focus on understanding the meaning behind prayers instead of just the ritual, it might click better.

+11
4 months ago

Don’t let others’ opinions push you away. Everyone’s on their own path. Loving Islam while struggling is more common than you think.

+16
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