Struggling to Feel Close to Allah in Salah
Assalamu alaikum, I'm at university and only about a year ago I started praying consistently and trying my best. I was raised Muslim but really got into Islam a year ago through reading the Qur'an, and now it's the most important thing in my life. About salah - I don't feel completely disconnected, but a lot of the time it feels more like I'm going through the motions than having a spiritual experience. Thinking about the meanings of the surahs I'm reciting helps, but I'm unsure if that counts as staying focused or just my mind wandering to Islamic thoughts. While praying I sometimes find myself thinking about Allah, the Prophets, or the Earth as I recite, and I wonder whether that's a real connection or just related thoughts. I seem to feel a stronger spiritual closeness when I read or recite the Qur'an in Arabic or when I study the translation on my own, rather than during salah. I feel guilty because I hear others describe salah as a time to 'talk' to Allah, and I don't feel comfortable casually speaking to Allah in prayer. I went to Umrah and when I prayed in Makkah and Madinah I experienced that indescribable connection, but at home I don't reach that same feeling. Maybe I'm overthinking, but I really want to feel nearer to Allah when I pray at home. JazakAllahu khairan for any advice.