Struggling to Connect Despite the Call
As-salamu alaykum. I've been exploring Islam for quite a while now, though I admit most of my learning has come from short videos online. I'm blessed to live in a place with a sizeable Muslim community, but the wider area leans heavily conservative, which adds its own layer of unease. My background is Latino-born in Mexico, raised here. For most of my life, I was really outgoing and had a wide circle, including many sisters I considered dear friends. Around 2017, I stepped back from almost all of them because their lifestyles revolved around drinking, smoking, and things that didn't align with where I was heading. Since then, I've thrown myself into work, basically seven days a week for years, with only rare breaks. Muslim communities seem so warm and close-knit, but I've become pretty antisocial; I honestly prefer my own space now. I don't date, smoke, or drink, but my routine feels so plain that it makes reaching out and building new friendships really hard. Plus, working all week even scares me away from attending Jummah, which I know is a must. I'm at a crossroads: I want to take my Shahada and eventually marry, which requires going to the mosque and getting that certification, but I'm so accustomed to solitude I fear I can't fully commit. Living in this political climate also makes simply going outside nerve-wracking-I only leave when absolutely necessary. It's a frightening time to be here, honestly. My thoughts are a bit scattered, but I feel trapped. TLDR: My work schedule and antisocial nature make me doubt I can meet my Islamic obligations. Any advice?