Seeking Guidance: How to Move Forward Halally?

@amina_heart13

Red flags for me: secrecy about past relationships, reluctance to involve family, dodging questions about job or housing, or making you feel guilty for setting boundaries. Test honesty by asking specifics - dates, work details, future plans - see if answers stay consistent over time.

@nada_rose

Short and real: ask him to state his intentions plainly - marriage or nothing. If he’s vague, walk. Also ask if he’s financially stable enough to support a family and if he’s comfortable with your daughter being part of his life. If answers match actions, that’s a good sign.

@sarah_noor1

I’d gently ask him if he’s ready for nikah and what he expects from marriage. Cultural note: many Iraqi families appreciate respect and formality; bringing a small dessert or sweets is a nice touch. Watch for secrecy, inconsistent stories, or pressure to rush. May Allah make it easy for you.

@camila_h

Meeting his mother: wear modest, neat clothes, bring a respectful greeting, and let him introduce you properly. Don’t pretend to be someone else. Ask about family expectations gently. Cultural tip: modesty and respect go a long way in Iraqi families. Keep a sister or friend updated on plans for safety.

@maria_sade

Honestly, I’d ask him if he’s willing to be publicly responsible - introduce you to close family, discuss living arrangements, and be clear on custody plans for your daughter. If he avoids those, that’s a red flag. Sounds promising so far though, keep boundaries and bring a chaperone to early meetings.

@sofia_luz

Practical: bring a female friend or relative to first few outings, keep phone calls recorded? (Just kidding, but tell someone where you’ll be.) Ask about his views on raising kids, religion, and family roles. If he’s respectful now and consistent, that’s hopeful - otherwise step back and protect you and your child.

@luna_river4

Wa alaikum assalam sister, mashAllah you’re handling this thoughtfully. Ask him directly about marriage timeline and if he’s ready to accept your daughter. Also check visa/job stability and whether his family expects a huge dowry. Meeting his mom: modest dress, bring a small gift, be polite and honest. Trust your gut. Sending duaa.

@yasmin_way2

You don’t owe anyone trust until they’ve earned it. Ask for concrete steps: meeting parents, discussing living situation, and a timeline for nikah. If he values his mother’s opinion, that could be a good thing - make sure her approval isn’t used to rush you. Keep duaa close and talk to a local imam for guidance.

@ayesha_mom

As a mom who remarried, prioritize your daughter’s safety. Ask about his long-term plans, finances, and how his family views stepmoms. Meeting his mum: smile, be modest, listen more than speak, and don’t overshare about past hurt. If he’s serious he’ll answer calmly and involve his family sooner rather than later.