Seeking Advice and Du'a on How to Change My Life

Assalamualaikum, I pray everyone reading this is well and Jazakum Allah khair for taking the time. Please bear with me - I don't know how long this will be and I honestly don't know why I'm putting this out here, but I need to unburden my heart and I wanted to talk to fellow Muslims. This past year has been really tough and unexpected for me and my family, and I'm at my limit with patience. A bit about me: I'm a young adult at university, daughter of brown parents. I feel stuck between childhood and adulthood and it's making everything more confusing. My parents' marriage is really harmful and, SubhanAllah, nobody should follow their example. I know this kind of thing can be common in our communities, and it is destroying my mental strength. For the first 17–18 years of my life things were okay, Alhamdulillah. But since I turned 18 it’s felt like everything got harder. My dad has always been verbally harsh, but it felt more contained when we were kids. Now that my brother and I are adults, the berating is constant - he targets my mother and us nonstop. Wallahi I can’t take it. Sometimes he behaves like he’s waging psychological warfare. I don’t know why. My uncle (my dad’s brother) is a very toxic influence - whenever he’s in contact with my dad, my dad becomes worse. For context, this same uncle once scolded my parents for buying a crib for me and my brother when we were babies, and even criticized them for getting furniture when they moved into our house. He told them, “you will never get above me and I’ll make sure of it.” I could list more, but you get the idea. I feel so angry that my dad lets himself be controlled by him and that he sometimes acts so abusively. For the past two years my dad lost his job and has only been doing pizza delivery. In this economy that income is nowhere near enough. He’s been in and out of work most of his life, so our finances have always been precarious. He has taken money from me and my brother that was supposed to be for tuition. My mom works and has been the main provider for the last few years, and Alhamdulillah she does her best, but it’s still not enough. I can see the toll it’s taking on her health and it hurts me to watch her struggle. On top of working, my mom is expected to do the traditional household duties for my dad - cooking, cleaning, serving him - and even after decades of doing that it’s never enough for him. Lately he’s been angry that she doesn’t serve him food on a plate three times a day - as if that’s the whole responsibility of running a household. After thirty years he still complains. I sometimes wish they had separated long before my brother and I were born so we could have avoided this. Why does Allah give this hardship? My dad’s cruelty affects all of us and it has damaged our self-worth; living in this unstable environment feels suffocating and I can’t see when peace will come. Adding to this anxiety is the fear of financial insecurity - our electricity has been cut twice this year, which made me realize how close to the edge we live. It feels like the ground under me is shaky and the rug of stability has been pulled away. There are so many other things to worry about, but I’ll spare the details. I do recognise my parents’ sacrifices and I try to help as much as I can, but in my country finding and keeping a job is nearly impossible, especially as a university student. Alhamdulillah I have a short seasonal job right now for one month, so I can help a little, but the graduate job market looks bleak and I worry about rizq for myself and my family when I graduate. Sometimes I feel angry at Allah, like our barakah is blocked - and I feel hypocritical even admitting that. I’m exhausted and I know the way I am affects how I deal with feelings. My imaan has taken a hit this year. I’m struggling to hold it, and praying feels like a battle. I used to be more consistent, and now I feel so guilty and like a failure as a Muslim. My external life is falling apart and because of my mental state my studies and potential have suffered. Inside, my faith feels at a low point and I regret so many things. I’m full of anger about my situation. I’ve practiced patience for years but I don’t know how much more I can take. I make dua and speak to Allah, but things seem to get worse and the mental health resources I’ve found feel generic and not helpful. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to keep being a functioning person, a good student, and a practising Muslim, but I don’t know if peace will come or if I have any patience left. Sorry for the messy grammar and flow - my emotions are overwhelming me. If anyone has advice, duas, or personal experiences on how to survive and turn things around while keeping iman, I would be so grateful. Jazakum Allah khair.