Salam, I’m Confused About My Hijab

Assalamu alaikum, I’ve been wearing hijab for 24 years. Most of the time I’ve managed to get on with life even when I didn’t feel especially pretty in it. There were stretches where I felt okay, and times (like around 2019) when I cried and loosened my scarf so a bit of my neck showed and that helped me cope for a while. Lately though I’m really struggling. I feel deeply unhappy and I keep thinking about taking it off. I cry on my way to work, I’m distracted at work, and at home I find it hard to be present with my husband and kids because my mind keeps searching for ways out and looking up rulings about removing it. I know it’s an obligation and that knowledge makes me feel trapped, and that trapped feeling leaves me sad most of the time. People say I’m well dressed by any standard, including those who don’t wear hijab, but I just can’t bear it. It’s eating away at my confidence. Even in moments when I’m okay, it feels like a temporary numbness. Once in a Zoom meeting I was so conscious of how I looked that I lost focus altogether. Sometimes the struggle has even made me dislike how I look without hijab - maybe from guilt, or thinking it’s pointless to take it off if I don’t feel good either way. It’s messed with my self-image. I did take it off a couple of times early in the morning at the park with my daughter, and I mostly liked it. I felt a kind of excitement - after a quarter of a century not having that cloth over my hair outside felt new and freeing. My husband is okay with me taking it off, but the fear of people’s judgment in our Muslim community and the fear of Allah weigh heavily on me. I’m at a point where I’m even contemplating quitting my job because I can’t keep living like this. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted, yet I need the income for many reasons. Should I stay tied to something that makes me so depressed? Or keep going and slowly wither away? For the record, I love modest dressing - I wouldn’t wear short sleeves or show my legs. I admire modest outfits even without hijab; they inspire me a lot. I’d really appreciate any sincere thoughts, advice, or dua. Jazakom Allahu khairan.