Salaam - Why Do Some of Us Face Hardships While Others Don’t?
As-salamu alaykum - this has been on my mind for a while and I wanted to share my thoughts and ask for clarity. Sometimes people go through very difficult things in life. Sometimes those hardships come from our own mistakes or carelessness, and sometimes they’re beyond our control. When I face a trial I might think, “Maybe I messed up and this is a consequence, or maybe Allah is drawing me closer to Him.” But then I notice others who make similar mistakes, or even worse ones, and they seem to be untouched. It feels like Allah protects them but not me, and I end up wondering why I was chosen to suffer while they weren’t. I’m not talking about people who are distant from deen - they’re good Muslims too - so it puzzles me: does that mean I was less beloved to Allah, or that He prefers them because they aren’t tested? Of course there’s a thought that being tested is a sign of Allah’s love, but then why are some people spared tests yet still seem close to Him? We all grow up in different environments we don’t control. Some people are raised in homes where attending the masjid is normal and encouraged, or where girls are taught to wear hijab early, so those habits form easily. Others only find their way later and have to work harder to build those habits. That makes me compare: if I’d had the same upbringing, maybe I wouldn’t have made certain mistakes. It feels like some have advantages, while others struggle much more just to stay on the straight path. I’m trying to understand how this is fair. I know Allah is just and His wisdom is beyond us, but I’m wondering why some people seem to have both dunya and akhirah, while others appear to rely mainly on akhirah. Sometimes two people are in the same situation - one slips further yet faces no apparent consequences, while the other suffers. Does that mean the spared person is more beloved to Allah? Or does it mean the one facing hardship was worse and being punished? How can we tell if a hardship is a test or a punishment? I’d really appreciate gentle reminders or perspectives from others who’ve reflected on this. Jazakum Allahu khayran.