Salaam - struggling with expectations about women's roles

Assalamu alaikum - I'm 17 and having a lot of tension at home over what my role as a woman should be. My mother is fairly traditional and quite religious, and we clash a lot about this. She tells me I'm too attached to the dunya because I don't accept that a woman's main purpose is simply to serve her husband and have children. She keeps talking about marriage when I turn 21 like it's the only goal. I want to study, work hard, make friends, and if I meet someone good later, then get married. She calls me a modern feminist ruined by social media and it really hurts. Also, my younger brother, who is 14, is allowed to stay out until midnight, while I have to beg to be out for even a few hours. I understand the concern about safety at night as a girl and I respect that, but it still feels unfair. My mother points to other families where the wives travel without their husbands and children and says those women are prideful, while the truly pious women stay home, care for the family, and go only with their husbands. That idea makes me feel sick - I mostly just see women trying to live their lives. When a husband travels with his friends it’s accepted, but when a wife does something similar it’s criticized. Is this really what Islam teaches? I know travelling with a mahram is a traditional ruling aimed at safety, but in today's world we aren't crossing deserts. I'm so frustrated and would appreciate any guidance or perspectives that can help me discuss this with my family more calmly. JazakAllahu khair.