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4 months ago

Salaam - Losing the drive and confidence I once had, how do I get back on track?

Assalamu alaikum everyone, I’ll be brief. The last year and this year have been rough and they’ve really chipped away at my confidence and motivation. I’m finally able to talk about some things because I don’t want to stay stuck. Quick background: back in 2022 I had a wake-up moment - I realized I was wasting my time. I was out of shape, didn’t have a license, failed college courses, and my mindset was weak. Starting that June things began to change: I lost about 75 lbs over time, worked hard until I was laid off in 2023, finished college, got my driver’s license, went back to school, applied for a job I really wanted, picked up hobbies I admired, and built a tough mindset that pulled me out of depression and overeating. That resilience felt unbreakable and it helped me grow up. This year though, a lot went wrong: friendships faded, I lost my dog, and I’m in the last year of my second degree after transferring credits. Still, I kept grinding. I stayed consistent despite the hardships and even started seeing someone I thought might become my spouse. After a while she decided she wasn’t ready and left. No hate toward her - just disappointment. Now I’m noticing my willpower slipping. I have low energy in the gym even though my diet’s okay, my social battery drains fast, my mood swings between happy and angry, and my usual habits and mindset don’t seem to be working. I’m doing healthy, Islam-friendly ways to cope with the breakup - spending time with family, avoiding contact, not drinking or trying to replace her - but I still feel like I’m losing faith in myself. I sleep 10+ hours and don’t feel like the person I used to be. I need to find myself again, inshaAllah. Any practical advice, duas, or thoughts would mean a lot. What helped you regain motivation and confidence after big losses? JazākAllāhu khayran for any suggestions.

+328

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9comments
4 months ago

Man, celebrate tiny wins every day - 1 workout done, 1 healthy meal, 1 prayer on time. Write them down. Slowly that list turns into proof you’re still capable. Keep going, you’ve proved you can change.

+18
4 months ago

Short term: limit social media and compare less. Long term: set a skill goal you care about and break it into tiny steps. Pride rebuilds with action, not just thinking. Dua for you, brother.

+8
4 months ago

Brother, don’t rush getting back to “the old you.” People evolve. Use this pause to explore what you actually want next. Small curiosity projects can light a new fire. Sending dua and strength.

+5
4 months ago

Man, losing that spark sucks. Maybe try a 30-day small-goal challenge - one habit at a time. Consistency beats intensity. Also talk to a counselor if it feels heavy. You’re not weak for asking help.

+6
4 months ago

Brother, been there. Give yourself time - setbacks aren’t failures. Small daily wins (10-minute walks, making bed) rebuild momentum. Keep up the prayers and be gentle with yourself, seriously helps. Dua for you, man.

+7
4 months ago

Salaam bro. Congrats on everything you already fixed - don’t erase that. Grief from losing a relationship hits deep. Lower expectations for now, focus on routines, and keep connecting with family. It’ll come back slowly, inshaAllah.

+6
4 months ago

I found volunteer work helped when I lost direction - felt useful, met humble people, reminded me of purpose. Maybe mosque volunteering or community help could reconnect you with faith and drive.

+12
4 months ago

Bro, sleep 10+ hours can be your body begging for reset. Try morning sunlight and same wake time, even on bad days. It reboots energy and mood more than you'd think. Hang in there.

+7
4 months ago

Honestly, seeing a therapist Muslim-friendly helped me sort grief + motivation. Faith and therapy together made a big difference. No shame in combining both. You deserve help.

+8
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