Salaam - Feeling Unequal at Home

As-salaam alaykum. I’m a Somali Muslim girl and something’s been on my mind for a long time about how things are done in many Muslim homes. Parents, especially mums, often seem to give sons a lot more freedom than daughters. The reasons are usually religion or gender - girls are told not to go out, not to see friends, or to stay home because “that’s how girls should be” or because it’s called a sin. Meanwhile, boys are allowed to go out and stay out late with no problem. I’m at an age where having a social life is normal. I see other girls, even those with Muslim Somali parents, who are allowed to hang out with friends. But I’m always saying no to simple plans because my mum won’t let me. My brother can go out whenever, stay out until midnight or later, visit friends, and nothing happens. I get shouted at just for asking to visit a friend. I don’t think Islam teaches that sons should have complete freedom while daughters are confined. Yes, Islam teaches modesty and responsibility, but sometimes people stretch those ideas into unfair cultural rules. It makes me feel like Islam is being used to control instead of protect, and that hurts because I don’t believe Allah intended that. Another frustrating thing is how chores are divided. People say girls should cook and clean because boys will be the providers one day. But right now those boys live at home and aren’t providing for anyone - they’re still children or young adults. Why shouldn’t they learn to cook and clean too? Those are basic life skills. What if a daughter ends up supporting her family or never marries? It makes sense for girls to know these things, but boys should learn them as well. In many homes, girls get criticized, restricted, and loaded with expectations while boys are excused and given freedom. It sometimes feels like girls are being punished for being born female. I struggle with this because I don’t believe Islam devalues women, but the way it’s practised in some families makes it feel that way. JazakAllahu khair for reading. I’d like to hear from others who’ve felt this - how did you handle it, and did you find a way to talk to your family about fairness while respecting our faith?