Revert navigating Christmas family tensions - need advice
As-salamu alaykum. I reverted to Islam three years ago alhamdulillah. Christmas time still causes a lot of stress for me. At family gatherings some relatives pretty much ignore me, and this weekend one of them even came up and scolded me about how ‘poor Israelis are so scared’. People get upset I don’t send Christmas cards or take part in celebrations, even though none of them are practicing Christians - I was never christened or baptised and I’ve hardly ever spent time in church. Since I briefly mentioned my faith, some relatives are convinced I only became Muslim because I got married (I actually said my shahada two years before my wedding 😂). They believe really wild things about Islam and it’s painful to hear the racist and Islamophobic remarks aimed at me and my husband (who is Pakistani and the only brown person in my family). Over the weekend with extended family I had to pretend to be unwell and leave early because I was so upset and angry from the comments made. The only relative who shows me respect is my grandmother, though she has dementia and only has moments of clarity. Everyone else seems to think it’s okay to bring up Israel, terrorism, and radicalisation just because I wear a hijab. I’m moving abroad in a few months and I’m feeling less inclined to keep in touch after I leave. I don’t want to sin - will I be sinning if I avoid them? We were staying in a very isolated, mostly white area of the UK and I didn’t see any other Muslim or person of colour for two days, despite being in public places. The looks I got felt full of disgust and hatred; I’m used to being in a white area while wearing hijab, but this felt different and made me very uncomfortable. I cried on the three-hour journey home to my husband, who was so kind and understanding, and now I feel almost numb towards them - I can’t believe they were so awful. Just to be clear, this experience has only strengthened my faith in Allah (SWT) and I know trials are part of life, but I’m ashamed and struggling. Does anyone relate or have advice on how to cope with family like this and whether keeping distance is allowed? Sorry for the ramble, thanks for reading.