Reflecting on Shubahat as a Muslim Woman

Assalamu Alaikum, I was raised mostly in a Western environment and grew up with a very reformed understanding of Islam. None of the women in my family wear hijab; in fact, they discourage me from it and treat it like something extreme. Throughout school, I was very involved in politics, speech, and debate. Now that I’m older and learning more about Islam, I’m really starting to embrace it fully. I’ve been reading a lot about women’s rights in Islam. Don’t get me wrong, I know women have many rights, especially in marriage. But sometimes, I feel like maybe because of my Western background, certain things just feel off to me. For example, the idea that a woman shouldn’t give public speeches. The main argument I’ve heard is that the Quran tells men to lower their gaze, so if a woman speaks publicly, it might cause fitna. But the verse right after says women should lower their gaze too. If both men and women are told to do this, why is it okay for men to have jobs or speak publicly where they mix freely with women? Supposedly, men are the ones who are more likely to be tempted. I’m Afghan by ethnicity, and seeing the situation of women in Afghanistan breaks my heart. They can’t study past 6th grade, aren’t allowed out unless necessary, and can’t even go to the gym. It just doesn’t feel fair. I totally get that men and women are different, and I understand why men can marry multiple women but women cannot marry multiple men, and why men can marry Christian or Jewish women but the reverse isn’t allowed. But some things, like people saying a woman’s voice is awrah, make me feel oppressed. I love Islam deeply, but these feelings inside make me question if some things truly feel right, even while I believe in the truth of the Quran.