Reflecting on Purity and Modesty in Our Community

As-salamu alaykum, I’ve been thinking about how purity is often discussed in our Muslim community, especially when it focuses so much on a woman’s chastity and seems to apply double standards. There’s a lot of emphasis on women to be modest-like being told to wear the hijab, have haya, and avoid unnecessary interaction with men. Meanwhile, men’s modesty is acknowledged in Islam too, like covering from the navel to the knees, but it doesn’t seem to get as much attention as women’s modesty. Haya is important, yes, but sometimes it feels like it creates a taboo around talking about women’s bodies, making natural things like periods feel shameful. For example, during Ramadan, why should anyone feel embarrassed to eat during the day if they have a valid reason? It’s what Allah allows us to do if we can’t fast. And when Muslim women talk about their rights in marriage, like the fact that women can enjoy intimacy, they often get told to “have haya,” while men openly discuss having multiple wives. Sometimes I wonder if all this is really about haya or if it’s more about oversexualizing women and treating them like objects. A period isn’t something sexual-it’s a natural biological process that half the population goes through. Another thing is the idea of virginity being judged by whether the hymen is intact, which is not accurate. Sports or other activities can affect the hymen, and this misconception is hurtful, especially for survivors of assault who didn’t choose what happened to them. Also, why is there such stigma around divorced women being seen as 'used' or no longer pure? I feel like this is more cultural than religious because many of the Prophet’s wives were divorcees, and no one back then seemed to look down on them. Just some thoughts I wanted to share and reflect on with you all.