Please Keep Me in Your Dua

Assalamu Alaikum. Life has been really hard on me lately. I waited a whole year for something, and every time I made dua nothing seemed to change. I kept telling myself to be patient, that Allah would reward me and things would look better next time. But after a year it finally ended, and I felt crushed. I found myself asking: is it only over for me, or is it not over with Allah? That thought hurt a lot. Part of me felt like I still hadn’t learned from all of this rejection. What happened made me question everything. For a moment, Astaghfirullah, I even wondered why my Lord felt distant or harsh. I know Allah is never unjust, but in my weakness I felt sorry for myself. I remembered all the times I put my hope in Him and trusted fully, only to be disappointed again. I kept asking why my prayers and tears seemed so small, and why the mental and physical pain I carry didn’t end. Why didn’t He lift this burden? I tried to think about how blessings are given out. I thought of those with less than me who may have been born into hardship or war, and then I thought of people who appear to have everything-family, love, comfort, wealth. Of course I might be wrong about their inner struggles; maybe they suffer too. I’ve reached a very low point. I’m worn out and even finding it hard to pray. I know this could be a test from Allah, but the weight of it is so heavy I can barely bear the thought of another day like this. As I write, I can’t even lift my arm. For the first time it feels more than I can handle, and I even had dark thoughts about wanting the pain to stop. I don’t want to commit any sin, and I know I must trust Allah, but I am weak and overwhelmed. I ask Allah to forgive me for any despair and to have mercy on my youth and my frailty. Please keep me in your duas. If any of you are nearer to Allah, ask Him to ease this burden and guide me back to patience and hope. Jazakum Allahu khairan.