As-salamu alaykum - I want to come back to Islam but my past haunts me

As-salamu alaykum. I was born here in the West into a strict Sunni family who moved from abroad. From a young age, like the other women in my family, I was pushed to wear the hijab and live very modestly. Being the only sister who wore hijab at school and later at work was hard, and over time I grew to resent both the hijab and the faith itself. In my late high school years I rebelled with the little freedom I had - I smoked, drank, and committed zina. What started as excitement turned into deep guilt and a hollow feeling. I became lost, depressed, and even had suicidal thoughts. I couldn’t turn back to Allah because the religion felt linked to trauma; every time I tried to pray I felt anger that it had taken my childhood away. Eventually my family found out. Seeing how much I had hurt them shattered me. They forgave me, told me they loved me, and said I will always be their daughter and that they want to help me change. Despite their kindness I’m overwhelmed by shame and regret. I feel like my life is beyond redemption and, to be honest, embarrassed. I truly want to return to Islam and be a good Muslimah, but I feel permanently stained by what I did. I’m disgusted by my body, my words, my thoughts. No matter how much my family reassures me, I can’t forgive myself. I keep my distance because I think they don’t deserve a daughter like me. I’m asking for guidance: how do I start to accept Allah’s forgiveness and forgive myself? How can I rebuild my relationship with my family and with Islam without being crushed by shame? Any practical steps, duas, or personal experiences from sisters who have gone through something similar would mean a lot. Jazakum Allah khair.