please help me, i don't know what to do about my salah

Assalamu Alaikum. Please don't judge me, i'm really struggling and i need advice. i haven't been praying properly since around covid (2020-21). i don't even know why it started. i've been telling my parents i prayed when i didn't. i'd do a quick wudu that wasn't proper, lay the prayer mat down and just sit there, pretending i completed the salah. i've felt guilty about lying to them and to myself ever since. for context: i have adhd and i think i'm depressed, but my parents won't take me to a psychiatrist. i'm a muslim from a muslim country. lately, no matter how much i study i keep getting the same mid grades, and i've started to worry that it's because i'm not praying. i feel lost and keep thinking my lack of salah is part of the problem. i'm in college with a ton of exams right now and i get this constant dread thinking about the results. after i shower i can do the full rak'ahs properly, but if i break my wudu i stop praying again and the cycle continues. i noticed the only time i truly pray well is right after a shower. i still know all the surahs - before covid i used to go to the masjid and i was the kid who knew the most, and i probably know more than my mom now. i really want to pray properly and do wudu the right way, but when i lay the mat down i freeze. i stand there and then end up just sitting. i've cried on the prayer mat so many times asking why i can't pray. did i do something wrong? is Allah (SWT) upset with me? i try to make my niyyah and any energy i had disappears. i know which surah to say in each position, but i still can't get myself to pray correctly. i don't know what's wrong with me. i lose motivation every time i put the mat down. i need real advice on how to build a consistent, sincere prayer habit and how to perform proper wudu. any tips, routines, or personal experiences would help. jazak Allah khair for reading and please be kind.