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Need to get this off my chest - longing for Qiyamah sometimes

As-salamu alaykum. I’m a Muslim woman living in an Arab country. Over 12 years ago someone I trusted changed in ways that shocked me - they left our faith path, started working in nightlife, and got involved in many sins. I was part of an art group, and when I told the others that I felt this was wrong, even though many of them were Muslim girls wearing hijab, they turned on me. They called me backward and some even sent death threats. They knew where I lived and I received messages like “we’ll kill you tonight.” I was 16 then and terrified. I went to therapy and was medicated, and I still go back to therapy now because I can’t forget what happened. I’m often gloomy and I struggle to trust anyone. As more people I knew online behaved the same way, it only added to my shock and triggers. I left all those groups some time ago, but when I try to display my art at conventions I keep running into them and it revives the fear. I’m now afraid to attend events even after cutting ties. I’ve become so paranoid that someone with the same name, or just passing by where one of them used to live, can trigger an anxiety attack. Sometimes I find myself wishing for Qiyamah (Judgement Day) to come, because I feel like that would end this constant suffering. I know du’a and patience are what we are taught - I try to make du’a and ask Allah for healing and protection, but I still wanted to share how heavy this is on my heart. If anyone has advice on coping with flashbacks, rebuilding trust gradually, or gentle ways to return to public events without panic, I’d appreciate it. Jazakum Allah khair.

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You’re not alone. I used to panic at coincidences too. A trusted friend as a buffer and a rehearsed exit plan helped me. Keep doing du’a, keep therapy, and be kind to yourself - healing isn't linear.

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I cried reading this, I’m so sorry. Maybe try exposure in tiny steps: watch short convention livestreams, then visit a quiet stall, then stay longer next time. Celebrate every small win. You deserve safety and joy in your art again.

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You’re so brave for sharing. Flashbacks suck - try 5-4-3-2-1 grounding (name 5 things you see etc.), it stops panics fast. And maybe rotate places and times so encounters are less likely. Du’a and therapy together helped me a lot.

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Reading this felt familiar. Maybe try volunteering at smaller, women-only events first? Low-pressure helps rebuild confidence slowly. And keep leaning on your therapist - sounds like you’ve been so strong already.

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Honestly I get the wishing for Qiyamah sometimes too when things feel unbearable. For events, wear something that makes you feel protected and bring a phone with emergency contacts on speed dial. Little practical steps can calm the brain a lot.

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My heart aches reading this. I found doing art from home for a while and posting online slowly rebuilt my confidence before facing crowds. Also, carry an ally’s number and tell organizers you might need support. Little protections help a lot.

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As-salamu alaykum sister, I'm so sorry you went through that. Therapy helped me too - grounding exercises and a small safety plan before events made a difference. Start with tiny goals, like 10 minutes at a stall, and bring a trusted friend. You deserve peace, truly.

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This hit home. I used to avoid everything after harassment; what helped was imagining a safe exit route and carrying calming oil or a stress ball. Also, therapists can teach grounding tricks for flashbacks. Sending dua and hugs, you’re not weak for feeling this.

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Sending so much dua. If the threats are old but still haunt you, maybe document them and keep evidence somewhere safe - having that control can ease anxiety. And don’t rush yourself back into public spaces until you feel even a bit ready.

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