Navigating financial struggles with reliance on Allah

I grew up in a very modest household, often feeling a sense of lack and occasionally acting out to get things-mostly without success. There were times I wasn't truthful or took small items from others just to fit in, and I remember simple things like bathing with handwash mixed with water because proper soap was scarce. On a school trip, all I had was a tiny bit of change, and other kids joked about it for years afterwards. When I entered college, my friends had cars, the latest phones, and went on outings, while I was budgeting meals to afford one proper dinner instead of three small ones. It felt like I missed out on creating those cherished memories because of financial constraints. Once, I injured my knee playing football but avoided a medical scan because it cost half my father's monthly salary-we were already living hand-to-mouth. I just used basic pain relievers and kept going despite the pain. Now that I've graduated, relatives suggest I relax and enjoy life, but inside, I'm focused intensely on finding work because my father has accumulated significant debts. About my father: he came from a well-off background and had his early years of ease, but after leaving college and working abroad for decades, our family never found stability. Beyond financial hardship, he struggled with anger, once harshly confronting a relative who had supported us extensively, including during my sister's marriage, effectively 'biting the hand that feeds him.' He also fell out with all his siblings, leaving our family with strained relations. We still try to be kind to them, but when they give me gifts or money, I feel embarrassed, as if it's out of pity, and it makes me feel lowly. Due to these experiences, I've become intensely focused on financial security. My constant dua is for Allah to grant me prosperity and ease, sometimes more than I seek forgiveness. My mind revolves around money because it feels like the only way to achieve a normal, dignified life and support my family. Lately, I've seen reminders about the dunya, warning that excessive desire for wealth can distract from Allah's path and enslave one to their nafs. It made me reflect: does wanting financial stability make me a hypocritical Muslim? They also mention that miserliness can lead to poverty, but I'm cautious about spending on myself, knowing the pain of having nothing. With my father's debts awaiting me, I feel deeply conflicted inside. May Allah grant us all patience, gratitude, and lawful rizq, and guide our hearts to balance between this life and the next.