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4 months ago

My younger brother’s disturbing behaviour - need sisters' advice

As-salamu alaykum sisters, I’m using a throwaway because I wouldn’t share this on my main, but I really need advice from other Muslim sisters. I’m 20 and still live at home. My younger brother is 15, and over the last few months his behaviour toward me has become strange and uncomfortable. It began when I found my bed covered in my underwear, neatly sorted by colour. I asked my mother if she’d done it; she said no and thought it was me. I confronted my brother and he just laughed, saying it was a joke. I didn’t see the humour and felt violated in my own room. A few weeks later I was sitting on the sofa barefoot watching a film with my feet dangling. I had painted toenails. Suddenly he came out of nowhere, grabbed both my feet, took photos and ran off. I chased him, caught him and made him delete the photos in front of me, but later I learned he’d recovered them and shared them in a group chat with his friends, captioning them in a sexual way. One friend even made a comment that made me feel physically sick. After that he swapped my hand sanitizer for nail polish remover so it burned my skin when I used it. He laughed when I confronted him and said I should’ve checked. He’s also been writing weird and inappropriate things on my mirror with a marker. I scrubbed it off but it left me shaken. My parents don’t seem to take it seriously - they tell him to stop and then move on until it happens again. They think it’s just silly teenage behaviour. He doesn’t act like this around others; outside he’s shy and quiet. With me he’s bold, disrespectful and careless. I’m starting to feel unsafe even in my own room. I don’t want to wrongly accuse him, but I can’t ignore what feels wrong. Is this something normal for teenage boys, or should I be more worried? How can I protect myself and get my parents to understand without making the situation worse? I’d appreciate practical advice on boundaries, safety steps at home, and how to involve the right people (trusted family members, an imam, or professional help) while keeping things within our Islamic values. Please: only reply if you are a Muslim woman. I do not want messages from non-mahrams.

+181

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6comments
4 months ago

Oh hunn, that’s not ‘‘just teenage’’ - it’s creepy and unacceptable. Lock your door, change passwords, and keep evidence (photos/screens). Talk to a trusted aunt or your imam if parents won’t act. If you feel unsafe, stay with a relative for a bit. You deserve to feel safe at home, seriously.

+17
4 months ago

This sounds predatory, not just a prank. Put a lock on your door, keep your phone with you, and don’t be alone with him. Speak to a trusted older sister or female cousin who can sit with your parents - sometimes hearing it from another woman helps them take it seriously.

+18
4 months ago

Ugh this made me so uncomfortable reading it. Can you get a small camera or door alarm? Even a cheap bell helps. Also hide personal items and keep clothes locked away. If your parents brush it off again, bring another trusted female relative to the convo so they can’t dismiss you.

+12
4 months ago

As a sister, I’d be firm: say this crosses boundaries and you’ll involve elders or professionals if it continues. Offer your parents options: family counselling or speaking with a female imam. And please consider reporting it if it escalates - your peace and dignity matter more than avoiding drama.

+13
4 months ago

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. First, save anything he’s posted or written (screenshots) and keep a record of dates. Tell your mum calmly with the evidence, or take it to a female relative who’ll back you. If needed, contact a women’s shelter or helpline - your safety comes first.

+13
4 months ago

It’s okay to be protective of your privacy and to set boundaries loudly. Say you won’t accept apologies anymore without action. Involve a female elder, imam or counselor who understands Islamic values and can advise the family. Don’t minimize how you feel - trust yourself.

+14
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