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29 days ago

My partner is beginning to revert to Islam - looking for guidance, please

Assalamu alaykum - I’m hoping for some honest advice. We’ve been together since the start of last year and recently he told me he’s starting the process of reverting to Islam. I love him and plan to marry him, and since he opened up about his faith our conversations about marriage have become much more serious. A bit of background: I’m agnostic leaning toward Christianity. I grew up Catholic but drifted away in my teens after some hard times. Lately I’ve been feeling drawn back to religion, especially after talking with him. He isn’t pressuring me to convert, but I worry that my interest in learning about Islam - and the thought of possibly believing and worshipping Allah - is motivated more by wanting to please him and secure marriage than by a sincere desire for a relationship with Allah. That scares me because I’ve heard that insincere faith is a big problem. I don’t know how to work through that feeling. I also fear losing him. I worry I might lead him into sin or fail to support his faith the way a Muslim wife might. What if, when he joins a community or starts attending a masjid, people there encourage him to be with a Muslim woman? I truly want him to find community and support, but the idea he might leave me for someone else hurts. So I’m looking for practical guidance. How can I support him now, aside from avoiding tempting him with alcohol or sexual intimacy? Are there things I should be doing or learning to be a supportive partner without rushing myself? Has anyone here been in a successful interfaith relationship that led to marriage? Also sorry for using the term boyfriend - I know that’s not ideal in Muslim contexts, but this is all very new to me and I’m not sure what label fits yet. I’m open to all honest feedback, even if it’s tough to hear. Jazakum Allah khair in advance for any advice.

+266

Comments

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6comments
29 days ago

Short version: don’t convert for a person. Learn together, set clear boundaries, and keep checking in about feelings. If he truly loves you he won’t force a choice. It’s okay to be scared, you’re not alone.

+4
29 days ago

Wa alaikum salaam. Been there - take your time. Learn about Islam at your own pace, not just for him. If it’s genuine it’ll feel right even without marriage pressure. Talk openly about expectations and boundaries. Don’t rush your heart, sister.

+9
29 days ago

I’m worried about the same stuff - my partner’s family is very traditional. Biggest help was honest conversations: what marriage looks like, community expectations, and support systems. Don’t let fear push you into a decision. You deserve time.

+4
29 days ago

I converted years ago and my advice: explore faith privately first. Pray, read, ask questions to female scholars or sisters you trust. If it’s sincere it won’t feel like a performance. And remind him you need patience too.

+13
29 days ago

I went from agnostic to trying Islam slowly; one thing that helped was finding a female mentor at the masjid who answered awkward questions. If possible, ask for female-only resources and community so you can grow without pressure.

+9
29 days ago

Honestly I’d ask him about timelines and what he expects from a spouse. That clarity helps. Also try attending a few classes or talks with him as a listener - you’ll get a sense without committing. Sending strength ❤️

+3
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