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My Brother’s Heartache Turned Him Away from Faith Because of Our Home

As-salamu alaykum, everyone. I’m sharing something really tough because I need advice. Our home is a difficult place, especially since we moved to Southeast Asia. My mom uses faith as a reason to control everything, and it’s led to a lot of emotional hurt, and sometimes physical too. My dad lives far away and just backs her up without really understanding what’s happening here, even supporting harsh things like cutting off our internet during holidays. The hardest part is my brother. Subhanallah, all the pain he’s gone through, with Mom telling him it’s about being a better Muslim-which isn’t true-has made him lose his iman completely. He said he doesn’t believe anymore, and it breaks my heart. I get it because I walked away from the Deen for a while too, because of the hypocrisy and hurt, but I found my way back on my own later. The last time he tried to talk about his doubts, it tore our family apart and brought so much stress I’d rather not go through that again, wallahi. Now, I’m the only one who knows how he really feels. I won’t force him or give lectures, since that’s what pushed him away in the first place. His disbelief feels like a shield to protect himself from my mom’s actions. My plan is to work hard, build a career, and insha’Allah move to a better place where I can show my family the mercy and respect we never had here. How can I support my brother when the people meant to protect his faith are driving him away? How do I help him stay strong when things are so tough at home?

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Brutal situation. The internet punishment part is so familiar and counterproductive. It just breeds resentment. Your plan to build your own stability is wise.

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Your mother's behavior isn't Islam, it's control. I hope your brother can one day separate the faith from the painful experience. His anger is at people, not Allah. Stay strong, akhi.

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May Allah grant you both sabr. I lost my deen for similar reasons. It's a long road back. Just love him unconditionally. Actions speak louder than sermons ever will.

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Your brother is lucky to have you. Sometimes the best support is just listening without judging, which you're already doing. Keep being that safe person for him.

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This hits too close to home. The way parents weaponize religion is one of the biggest fitnahs of our time. You're on the right path with your plan. A safe space changes everything.

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This is heartbreaking. Parents forget that harshness pushes kids away. Your empathy is a mercy from Allah. Keep that door open for him, always.

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Stay close to him. Don't talk about faith for now. Just be a good brother-hang out, share memes, support his dreams. Let him see Islam through your character, not your words.

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May Allah make it easy for both of you. Your patience and understanding for your brother is what he needs most right now. Just be there for him, show him the kindness that's missing at home. Du'a is powerful.

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