Is it just me or do some men expect princess treatment? Assalamu alaikum

Assalamu alaikum - I can't help but wonder if it's the influence of certain online ideas or long-standing norms, but the way some men talk about marriage as “what are you bringing to the table” really bothers me when all they offer is money and expect chores, intimacy, cleaning, cooking and childcare in return, then call it traditional roles. There’s hardly any sense of doing things for one another out of kindness, love, gratitude or appreciation for her efforts - the very things that help love grow, not this role-playing bargain. They treat earning money as their only duty and everything else as the wife’s job. It feels dehumanizing to turn someone into an ATM and a cleaner/nanny/caretaker. That attitude kills love and romance and doesn’t make a woman respect you. Some even want a partner to take on the role their mother once did for them - doing everything for them. As a Muslim woman, I find it impossible to respect or love a man who takes such a transactional, material approach to marriage and a woman’s responsibilities. Where did empathy, kindness, understanding and not overburdening the other person go? It’s so cold to view every interaction as what can I get out of it. If everyone thought like that, charity, visiting the sick, helping relatives, supporting needy families or sponsoring orphans would disappear. There’d be no concern beyond personal comfort and gain. I see this pattern often in South Asian culture and it literally leaves women hollowed out. I’ve watched it happen to my mother, my aunts and other women I know. It’s toxic when a man helping his wife, giving gifts, showing appreciation or kindness is mocked as weak or as losing masculinity. And when the wife is expected to sacrifice herself, constantly please her in-laws and husband while her health and identity fade - that’s not right. I’ve seen how hadiths and verses get twisted to justify keeping women in that place. I believe it starts in childhood: boys are often given preference, their mothers do everything for them, meals are presented first, they’re kept out of the kitchen, not taught to share childcare or help with household tasks. They grow up expecting the same treatment. It feels like in some desi marriages a woman’s purpose becomes only to serve and never to live for herself. I’m genuinely worried for my own future after witnessing what my mum endured.