Is Dua Worth It When It’s in Allah’s Timing?
Assalamu alaikum. I’m someone who feels like good things don’t come easily to me - maybe it’s just my naseeb. Six years ago I got an ear infection that left me with bad tinnitus - constant ringing. The first three years I’d wake up sobbing because I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore. It has eased a lot but still flares up, and I’m terrified of it getting worse as I get older. Sometimes I worry I won’t cope and that’s a scary thought. For six years I held on to hope, and now I keep asking myself: what’s the point of dua if Allah will heal when He wills, and maybe He won’t at all. I lost a job in May and prayed for something better. Today I got a part-time offer that pays less and I’m worried I won’t like it. I also prayed to meet someone by the end of the year and that didn’t happen. It feels like big things never come my way. I’m angry at myself for hoping so much and feel almost delusional about my duas. I fear my big duas won’t be answered. I’ve been so sad. I used to pray tahajjud almost every night but lately I don’t have the mental energy. I make istighfar, read Surah Al-Baqarah, pray my salah, yet doors feel closed. I’ve never doubted Allah’s mercy or decree, but I’m exhausted from always asking and sometimes feel calmer on the days I don’t make dua. I keep thinking: He’ll give when He gives - begging won’t change that. I feel low in my imaan. Everything I had faith in or prayed for hasn’t come true, and I’m running out of strength. If anyone has advice, du’a, or reminders to share that might help me hold on to hope without burning out, I’d really appreciate it. JazakAllah khair.