I’m tired of the “get educated because he might leave” mindset - start with Allah

Salam everyone, Before you scroll, hear me out. People often say: “Get an education, learn a trade, be independent because a man could leave you.” That’s true to an extent - yes, practical independence matters. But I’m really fed up with this being the main reason we push girls and women to study or work. We should encourage seeking knowledge because Allah made it a duty on every Muslim, and because taking responsibility is part of tawakkul: tie your camel, then trust in Allah. Becoming self-sufficient is praiseworthy not just as a hedge against a relationship ending, but because learning and striving are acts that please Allah and benefit the community. Framing education around “he might leave you” plants fear and distrust about marriage. If a woman grows up thinking the main reason to be independent is that a husband could desert her, that suspicion can follow her into marriage and sour how she feels about the relationship. I’ve seen friendships and relationships collapse after people kept saying “if we ever stop being friends/if he leaves” - it almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. That doesn’t mean we should tell women to ignore education or ambition and just depend on a husband. Nor should we say independence is the only thing that matters. Both extremes are unhealthy. My point: encourage women to pursue knowledge and skills from a positive, faith-centered place. Put Allah at the centre. Don’t use fear of men as the primary motivator. There are far better reasons to learn and to be capable - seeking ilm because it’s obligatory, serving others, being able to support your family, and using what you earn to do good. And yes, even if you marry a righteous husband who won’t leave - learning and financial independence still matter. A good husband shouldn’t feel threatened by his wife’s knowledge or ability. I want to keep learning both worldly and religious knowledge, and be able to earn so I can support others and give in charity. So let’s change the message: educate because Allah commands it, because it benefits you and your ummah, and because it’s the right thing to do - not just because of a fear that a man could walk away.