I Need Some Guidance, Please

As-salamu alaykum, everyone. I was born Muslim but for a long time, I didn’t really believe in Islam. I used to do things that aren’t allowed, like smoking weed and committing zina. My parents didn’t raise me with strong Islamic practices; they told us to fast but didn’t pray themselves or teach us how. My mom only started praying and reading the Quran a few years ago. Life got really hard for me, and my parents aren’t the best support. During those times, I often wondered why Allah was testing me so much. I quit smoking and drugs since it wasn’t for me. Then I started working out and dressing in very revealing clothes, showing off my body. I didn’t believe in Allah back then and was into astrology and tarot cards-may Allah forgive me. I was also in a haram relationship and wanted to stop committing zina. I realized it was wrong and felt disgusted. That person wasn’t right for me. After Ramadan, I went to the mosque and felt good, but also realized I was Muslim who didn’t pray or know much about the deen. I didn’t even know how to pray, so I started learning and praying. I studied about the Prophets and Islam and began dressing modestly. I removed all my photos from social media. But then I fell into another haram relationship, and it broke my heart. I stopped praying during that time. After we ended things, I returned to my prayer and started reading Quran again, getting closer to my faith. I understood this world is temporary, and what matters is the akhirah-not how we look or act. Last December, I thought about wearing hijab but thought it was just a phase. My mom didn’t support it, so I kept delaying. I kept feeling the urge to wear it because I knew I should as a Muslim woman. I admired hijabi sisters and wanted to be like them. After Ramadan, I decided to wear hijab. My mom yelled and said it’s not part of our culture and that I looked silly. I prayed tahajjud and asked Allah to guide me. Eventually, my mom softened. I kept praying tahajjud and asked Allah to remove bad thoughts if hijab wasn’t right for me. But after two weeks, I had dreams about the Day of Judgment and felt sick without the hijab. I took this as a sign. Now it’s been eight months, and honestly, it’s been really hard. The hijab sometimes feels like a heavy burden. At first, I was just scared to take it off like many hijabi influencers I saw. But now I miss my old self. I feel like I’m suffering and suffocating. I know it’s a test from Allah, but despite praying so much, it hasn’t gotten easier. I only feel relief once every couple of days. I feel like I’m drowning and don’t know what to do. I prayed tahajjud many times asking to keep it on, and I prayed istikhara for guidance. Yet, bad thoughts stay. Today, I got ready and missed my hair and old life so much. I miss hanging out with friends, going places, and the attention I used to get from guys. I don’t know why Allah isn’t making this easier for me. Sometimes I wish I never wore it, but I don’t want people to see me like before. I feel like I rushed into wearing hijab and don’t know why it’s still so hard. Please, if anyone can help or share advice, I’d really appreciate it. Jazakum Allahu khairan.