I didn’t believe people when they said “Allah invites you to Tahajjud”… until it kept happening to me

Salam. I don’t even know why I’m typing this-maybe to get it out, maybe so someone else doesn’t feel alone. For a long time my heart felt heavy in a way I couldn’t name. Grief, a broken heart, disappointment… all stacked up. I kept going through the motions, showing up, but inside I was wiped out. Spiritually I was inconsistent. I didn’t feel “good” or worthy of closeness to Allah. Then something odd began to happen: I kept waking up around 3am. At first I shrugged it off-coincidence, anxiety, bad sleep. People always say “Allah invites you to Tahajjud,” and honestly I didn’t buy it. Seemed like something people say to sound spiritual. One night I was so tired of waking up that I even took a sleeping pill to test it. I told myself: let’s see if this is real or just my body being annoying. I still woke up. 3am. Wide awake. Heart heavy. No distractions. Just silence. That scared me a little. About a year after a deep heartbreak, Allah softened my heart again. I met someone in the strangest, most unexpected way-let’s call him “A”-and for the first time in a long while I felt hopeful. Maybe too hopeful. Maybe I got attached. Maybe I failed a test. Maybe it was meant to work and didn’t. Maybe reconciliation is written, or maybe it isn’t. I don’t know. What I do know is this: through that pain, Tahajjud came back into my life, my bond with Allah improved, and the peace I felt within a week of the breakup was subhanAllah-I don’t deserve it at all. Not because I’m righteous, not because I’m disciplined, not because I deserve it. But because Allah kept inviting me anyway. Even on nights I felt ashamed. Even on nights I felt messy, emotional, weak. Even when my duas were full of confusion instead of conviction. I’d stand there half-awake whispering, “I’m sorry ya Allah… I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.” And yet there I was, being given space to talk to Him while the world was quiet. Maybe I messed up the test. Maybe the heartbreak was a lesson. Maybe the person I loved was a gift not meant to stay. Or maybe Allah is still writing something I can’t see. But one thing is clear to me now: if Allah keeps waking you up in the middle of the night when you’re broken, it’s not punishment or randomness. It’s mercy. It’s Him wanting you to tell Him EVERYTHING-and I mean everything. It got to the point I’d say, “ya Allah I want to eat salmon today,” and subhanAllah He’d make it easy; “ya Allah my stomach hurts, I’m going to have a long day,” and the pain would ease within minutes. It’s all the little things-you put Him first, no matter how small. I still don’t feel deserving. I still say “I’m sorry ya Allah” more than anything else. But I’m learning that sometimes being invited back is the mercy. If you’re waking up at night for no clear reason and your heart feels heavy, that might be Allah inviting you. Maybe you’re being called.