How should I respond to extremist violence as a Muslim?

Assalamu alaykum - I live in a Western country and I’m really struggling. Islamophobia is everywhere here and I’m getting to a point where I don’t even know what to say anymore. Recently there was an apparently Islamist attack in Australia that targeted Jewish people, and in Germany police reportedly stopped a planned attack on a Christmas market. Last year someone from Saudi Arabia drove into a Christmas market and killed people, even children. I get that media framing matters, and I don’t deny that terrorism is not true Islam. But it’s hard not to notice that some Arab governments and some people who claim to be Muslims - including refugees - are linked to very brutal, extreme acts. That makes things complicated for the rest of us. All I learn about Islam is about peace, patience, and mercy, yet there are those extremists who seem to ruin it for everyone. I’m a revert and my family already has strong reservations about Islam. I try to defend Islam, people from Arab countries, and refugees, but I’m getting desperate and can’t always find the right words. It feels like you’re trying to convince people your child is well-behaved, and just as they start believing you, the child throws a tantrum. How should I respond to this? How can I explain the difference between Islam and terrorism, support my community, and help reduce fear without sounding naive? Any practical advice or phrases that might help calm family and friends would mean a lot.