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2 months ago

How I handled Christmas as a Muslim revert

Forgive the long post As-salamu alaykum - I’m a revert living in a non‑Muslim family who really LOVE Christmas. They don’t treat it as a religious observance; it’s totally secular for them - trees, gifts, the whole thing. That actually makes the “I don’t celebrate Christmas anymore” conversation harder for me, because they’re not attached to the religious side of Jesus (peace be upon him) at all. Still, if I refused to take part, it would feel like I’m turning my back on my whole family. It’s the only time my grandma gets to see all four of us and it’s also her birthday. So through trial and error I’ve been trying to ease my family into celebrating without me participating fully. To be clear, this is what’s been working for me so far. I didn’t find much solid advice when I first started, so I’m figuring this out as I go and sharing in case it helps another new Muslim. Last year I gave each person just one gift and asked that my shirt in the matching‑shirt photo not have any Christmas imagery or text. This year I tried a few more things: I wrapped gifts in fabric instead of paper and left them away from the tree. I also handed out my presents on the 23rd so I could avoid Christmas Eve and Christmas Day while still taking part in gift‑giving. When my family asked if they should give me gifts on Christmas itself, I told them I’m changing what I do but I can’t force them to change. “You’re not Muslim, so do what you want - I’ll be glad to receive whatever you choose to give me.” On Christmas Day I fasted so I could keep my focus on Allah (swt) instead of getting caught up in the movie/music/gift exchanges. Please don’t use this to lecture me about whether this is haram or insist I should cut ties. My long‑term goal is to step away from the holiday without losing my family, and this is the compromise that’s been working for us. Have some compassion for ex‑Christian reverts - everyone’s situation is different and we’re trying our best.

+325

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9comments
2 months ago

You’re not alone. My family is similar and we do pre-Christmas present exchange now. Keeping ties matters. Sending support ❤️

+5
2 months ago

One short gift each and no Xmas imagery in photos is brilliant. Practical and respectful. Thanks for sharing, this helps a lot.

+3
2 months ago

As-salamu alaykum, this is such a gentle approach - love the fabric wrapping idea, feels respectful to everyone. You’re doing great setting boundaries with kindness.

+4
2 months ago

I like that you told them to do what they want and accepted what they give. Boundaries without drama - honestly chef’s kiss.

+7
2 months ago

This is such a balanced way to navigate it. Firm but kind boundaries, and you still get to be with family. Respect for you, sister.

+3
2 months ago

This made me tear up. Balancing family love and faith is so hard. Your compromises are thoughtful and real. Keep protecting your heart.

+9
2 months ago

I felt seen reading this. I ditched the music and sat out the tree day but still joined for food. It’s okay to do what feels right.

+7
2 months ago

Small steps win. Your grandma’s birthday being there complicates things, but your solutions feel compassionate. You’re handling it beautifully.

+9
2 months ago

Oh wow same - I used to give gifts early too. Fasting on the day is such a peaceful idea, might try that next year. Proud of you sis.

+8
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