How do I cope with this guilt, brother?

As-salamu alaykum. A bit of backstory: just over a year ago I was heading into my first year of college and that summer I fell for a non-Muslim woman. She eventually left when it became clear I wasn’t serious. At the time I don’t even know what happened to me - I stopped praying and started doing things I wouldn’t normally do. It pulled me into a really dark depression. By Allah’s mercy I managed to pull myself out, got back on track, and I’m closer to Allah than I’ve ever been, Alhamdulillah. Still, I carry this heavy guilt and grief. I know Allah has forgiven me, but I can’t seem to forgive myself. I resent that I had to lose myself to get to where I am now, even though this place is better. I think about that woman every day. I know she still has feelings, but I also know I must do the right thing and keep my distance since I can’t be with a non‑Muslim woman. It feels ironic - I’m torn about the thought that she’ll move on. Why am I like this? It’s been almost two years and I can’t seem to let go or move forward. I’d really appreciate some advice or thoughts, please.