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28 days ago

How can I cope with a family that rejects my faith? I need advice, please

Assalamu alaykum, I’m 25 and still living with my parents because finding work has been really hard for me, especially while wearing hijab. I’ve even thought about taking it off just so I can get a job. My parents are strongly against anything that shows I’m Muslim: - I can’t wear the hijab in the house (I only put it on when I’m in the car) - I’m not allowed to eat halal meat, so I’ve barely eaten meat for the past four years - I pray secretly - I’m not permitted to fast (but I plan to observe Ramadan and that idea makes me very anxious) - I’m not allowed to discuss religion with my brothers and sisters - I can’t wear black because they say it looks too “Muslim” - I’m not allowed to get married There are more things I’m forgetting, but the point is they don’t want any visible sign that I’m Muslim. My mother even reported me to the authorities so I’d be watched, and my father brings up Afghanistan and terrorist attacks every time I mention Islam. Living openly as a Muslim feels impossible right now. Has anyone been through something like this? Did your parents come around eventually, and if so how long did it take? I’ve been handling this for four years and I’m exhausted. Any practical advice would really mean a lot - whether it’s about staying firm in faith, small ways to practice safely at home, finding work while wearing hijab, or steps to gain independence. JazakAllahu khairan for any help.

+337

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9comments
28 days ago

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Have you tried applying to places that explicitly allow hijab or Muslim-friendly workplaces? Freelance stuff saved me - tutoring online. Also keep a small prayer routine you can do privately, it helps keep you grounded.

+3
28 days ago

Practical tip: make a simple CV highlighting skills that don't require in-person interviews at first. Remote interviews let you keep hijab and control the environment. Also learn a marketable skill online (graphic design, coding, etc.).

+9
28 days ago

Been in a similar spot - my parents were strict about dress and fasting. I pretended to comply sometimes but kept my prayers private. Keep your mental health first; find an online therapist or a helpline. You're not alone, sister.

+7
28 days ago

Ugh that sounds awful. My mum gaslit me about religion too. Small rebellions helped me stay sane - wearing a subtle bracelet with Arabic script, listening to Quran recitations with headphones. Tiny things that felt like mine.

+5
28 days ago

I left home at 26 because it was unbearable. Saved steadily, sold stuff, did odd jobs until I had a deposit. It took time but it was worth it. For now, practice salah quietly and look into women-only shelters or community groups if things escalate.

+18
28 days ago

Sending so much dua for you. If leaving isn't possible yet, build a plan: save, update skills, network online. Look into female-only job listings or local NGOs that hire women. Keep praying when you can and stay hopeful.

+7
28 days ago

Hearing 'reported you to authorities' is scary. Consider documenting incidents, telling a trusted relative or counselor, and finding local Muslim women’s groups for advice. Even small savings can give you options. You deserve to be you.

+7
28 days ago

You don't owe anyone your safety or comfort. If hijab makes you feel spiritually connected, keep it when you can. For work, try customer support, transcription, or teaching English online - many places are fine with hijab or remote work.

+11
28 days ago

This hits so close to home. I wore hijab at college but had to hide it at home for years. Small acts helped: memorizing duas quietly, praying in the bathroom when needed. Look for remote jobs or work-from-home gigs so you can keep hijab on. Sending dua and strength, sister.

+11
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