Heedlessness from Repeated Sin - A Gentle Reminder

Assalāmu ‘alaykum everyone, Jumu‘ah Mubārak to all my brothers and sisters. I watched a short reminder recently that stuck with me: when a believer commits a sin, a small black mark is put on the heart. If one doesn’t sincerely repent and keeps repeating the sin, that mark grows until the heart becomes darker and harder. Scholars say that a hardened heart loses shame and guilt. Gradually, sins stop feeling heavy, and a person may slide into more wrongdoing without even noticing. Sometimes the worst punishment isn’t outward pain but that the heart reaches a place where disobedience starts to feel normal. Thinking about that made me realize how serious this is. So serious that even when a clear halal and rewarding choice is right in front of us, we might still pick the haram. I want to share this especially for those of us who are married. Islam teaches husbands to care for their wives’ emotional needs, and wives to show kindness to their husbands. But how often do we neglect that? A husband might spend hours scrolling and admiring non-mahram images, praising strangers online, while his own wife - halal for him and a gift from Allah - goes without a kind word. Looking at non-mahrams is a sin; praising or admiring them while ignoring one’s spouse makes the issue worse. Imagine if that time and those compliments were given to your spouse instead. This is the kind of heedlessness that comes with a hardened heart: not pausing to think, not recognizing the sin. Likewise, many of us show good manners to strangers but keep our worst behavior for home. We lose patience with family, speak sharply, and let our character slip. If we’re honest, isn’t that a kind of hypocrisy we’ve gotten used to? My dear brothers and sisters, and especially the married: this is a reminder to myself first. Put the phones aside sometimes. Sit with your spouse. Say something nice. Sisters, tell your husband he looks good. Brothers, tell your wife she’s beautiful and thank Allah for her. Be gentle with parents, siblings, and relatives. Wallāhi, we’ve become very ghāfil of the true teachings of our dīn. These small deeds shape our adab and akhlāq and can either soften or harden our hearts. I felt this reminder was important to share.