Healing After a Broken Heart - Salam Sisters
As-salamu alaykum sisters, I’m 25 and studying at a co-ed university. There was a guy from first semester who always sent mixed signals. I tried to cut him off so many times, but he kept coming back. He’s been kind and helpful, which made things more confusing for me. Now in our fourth year I found myself developing feelings for him. He did a few caring things that made me hope, and I was scared of losing him. One day I tried to ask indirectly what he wanted. He said he wanted nothing. I accepted that, but he still didn’t go away. He started texting me again and I decided not to reply - and I’ve stuck to not replying. We basically don’t speak anymore. I still feel sad and broken from time to time. I keep asking myself why he wouldn’t choose me, and if he didn’t want me then what was all that attention for? Sometimes I sense a sadness in him when we don’t talk, but maybe I’m just imagining things. My chest hurts sometimes from the pain. I catch myself remembering his eyes - he’s very handsome - and my heart longs for him even though I know there’s no hope. What can I do now? How do I move on? Will I ever be okay again? Response/advice (from a regular sisterly tone): - First, keep turning to Allah. Make dua and ask for healing and guidance. Remember that hearts are in Allah’s hands. - Give yourself time. Healing isn’t instant. It’s okay to feel sad - validate your feelings but don’t let them control you. - Limit reminders of him. Avoid places, messages, or social situations that keep bringing him to mind until the feelings settle. - Fill your time with positive, halal activities: focus on studies, join a beneficial student group, spend time with family and good sisters, volunteer, or pick up a hobby. - Strengthen your faith: read Quran, make dhikr, attend halaqas or gatherings with righteous company. That helps soothe the heart and brings perspective. - Talk to a trusted sister, family member, or a Muslim counselor if the pain feels overwhelming. Sharing helps. - Reflect on the reasons you stopped engaging with him and why accepting that he wants “nothing” was healthier. Remind yourself you deserve clarity and respect - and eventually someone who wants a halal relationship with clear intentions. - Be gentle with yourself. Days will be hard and then easier. Small steps add up. You will be okay, in sha Allah. Keep seeking Allah’s help, look after your heart, and lean on supportive family and sisters. Time and faith will mend this wound.