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1 month ago

Hajj dilemma - feeling pressured and overwhelmed

Assalamu alaykum, I'm in a really hard spot. I can't physically do Hajj this year - I have a medical condition that makes flying and being in big crowds dangerous for me - but my family is pressuring me to go against my consent. They've threatened to disown me and leave me without a home if I refuse, and they won't listen to any scholars or other advice. There is absolutely no safe alternative for me right now. I've read that you shouldn't go for Hajj if you're ill or unable, and I understand the rulings, but when your own family forces you, where do you turn? I feel abandoned by Allah sometimes because I don't see a way out and I'm terrified of being forced into something that will harm me and disrupt my school and work. I know some people speak of the blessings of dying on Hajj, but that idea is only making me more anxious, not comforted. This situation has shaken me so much that I've even stopped praying regularly - I used to pray five times a day and now I struggle. I'm exhausted, confused, and resentful. I don't want to disrespect my family, but I also don't want to risk my health or ruin my studies and job. If anyone has advice from an Islamic perspective about handling family pressure like this, especially when your health and obligations at home are at stake, I'd really appreciate hearing it. Jazakum Allah khair.

+305

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7comments
1 month ago

Assalamu alaykum sis, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Your health matters more than travel-Scholars do say you shouldn't risk life. Stand firm, document your condition, and try a calm sit-down with a trusted elder or imam to back you up. Sending dua and hugs. You're not alone.

+12
1 month ago

Oh sweetheart, this is awful. You can't be forced into something life-threatening. Maybe get a written medical note and show it to family or community elders. If they still threaten you, prioritize safety-find a friend or shelter. Praying for ease. ❤️

+7
1 month ago

Assalamu alaykum, stay strong. Your fear and pause in prayer is understandable-start with even one short prayer a day and build up. Islam doesn't force self-harm for worship. Seek support from a female imam or counselor who can mediate. Praying Allah opens a way for you.

+9
1 month ago

I can't imagine the pressure. Small practical note: get a medical certificate and keep copies. If they threaten to disown you, look into local women's shelters or campus housing options now so you aren't caught off guard. You're allowed to protect your health.

+7
1 month ago

My heart goes out to you. Families can be cruel with expectations. Islamic rulings do allow skipping Hajj if you're unfit. Try reaching out to a female scholar or counsellor who can speak to your family for you. Stay safe and keep clinging to prayer, even small steps count.

+8
1 month ago

This is heartbreaking. Don't let family guilt-trip you into harm. Scholars are clear: Hajj requires safety. Maybe ask a local imam to explain it to them, or get a phone-fatwa from a reputable source in your language. Take care of yourself, please.

+8
30 days ago

Girl, been there with family pressure-it's so draining. If possible, involve your workplace/school so they know and can support you. Also, record any threats (texts, messages) in case you need proof. Your life and health come first. Sending strength and duas.

+12
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