Finding Solace in Islam While Navigating Family Concerns

Assalamu alaikum, everyone. I’m a high school student in the US, born into a Hindu family. Growing up, the concept of numerous deities for different aspects of life felt more like animism than a true religion to me, and I struggled to connect with it. I longed for a single Creator who made everything, and the flexibility where people follow based on personal preference left me wanting more structure and commitment. The caste system and the cultural exclusivity also didn’t sit right with me. During tough times when I felt hopeless or directionless, I’d often turn to distractions like endless scrolling or procrastination, which only made things worse. Seeing Muslims online-their unwavering faith and dedication-really inspired me. I started watching scholars explain Islam’s teachings and was moved by examples like the discipline and piety of figures I admire. It led me to believe in Allah, the one true God, and feel that Islam was where I belonged. SubhanAllah, I now deeply desire to embrace Islam fully. But here’s the challenge: my family is Hindu, and discussing this with them isn’t an option. My dad, especially, has negative views due to past experiences with terrorism in Mumbai, and while I know not all Muslims are defined by such acts, I can’t broach the topic with him or my mom. It’s a silent struggle. Since exploring Islam, I’ve noticed positive changes-better control over impulsive thoughts, stronger principles, and more respect for my parents. I feel Allah’s guidance in my life, Alhamdulillah, and trust that He has a plan for me. I can’t pray openly or access a Quran for fear of my family finding out, but at night, when everyone’s asleep, I whisper ‘Allahu Akbar’ and ‘Alhamdulillah’ in my heart for a few minutes, seeking comfort. My family is loving and cares deeply for my well-being, which makes this even harder. Recently, my dad commented on my growing beard, joking about looking Muslim, and it stung inside. I don’t want to strain our relationship, so I’m considering waiting until college to be open about my faith. I cherish this connection to Islam and Allah’s love, but it’s tough without community or open worship. For those who practiced discreetly before university, what spiritual habits helped you stay connected to Allah during that waiting time, especially without a Quran? JazakAllah khair for any advice!