It’s crazy how my life turned upside down in just half a year.

Around December, I found myself getting into watching a lot of live streams, and honestly, it was kind of fun at first. But then I stumbled onto some streams about gambling, and the temptation got to me. I told myself maybe trying it once wouldn’t hurt, but boy, was I wrong. As the youngest in a family of six, I’ve always been the one who tried to stay away from haram stuff like smoking, drinking, and gambling-alhamdulillah, I quit smoking four years ago. But this time, I fell deep into gambling and even won a big amount of money. I felt happy at the moment, but deep down, I knew this money wasn’t right. Before all this, I had saved up around $5,000 from working hard; after winning, my account jumped to over $60,000. The addiction really took over, and I kept going for months, thinking I could reach $100,000. Now, it’s April, and I’m over $22,000 in debt. I feel completely ruined and hopeless. I never imagined I’d end up like this. Alhamdulillah, I’ve stopped gambling now, but I wish I had done it sooner. I feel like this is a major sin, and maybe Allah is testing me in the hardest way, making sure I suffer for going against His rules. As a believer, I get why some people lose all hope over this-though I’d never go that far myself. Right now, all I can do is pray for forgiveness, cry, and carry this mental weight, hoping for Allah’s mercy in this life and the next.