My journey towards Islam and love: seeking guidance on this path
Assalamu alaykum everyone. I just wanted to share what’s been on my mind lately and maybe get some advice from the community. So, I’ve been getting to know a wonderful Muslim sister online since last summer. She’s a bit older than me, and I’m still in my first year at university. Over the last couple of months, I’ve started having strong feelings for her. I told her that I plan to revert to Islam, insha'Allah, and that I want to marry her once I graduate and am financially stable enough for a proposal. Alhamdulillah, she was supportive, even though it’ll be a while before anything can happen. We’ve set clear boundaries to keep things halal, no flirting or anything inappropriate. I’ve also begun studying the Qur’an and learning surahs with her help, and it’s been an amazing experience. Even though she agreed that if my feelings stay strong, we could look into getting engaged with both our guardians' blessings when the time is right, she keeps suggesting I should consider other sisters. I know she means well, but my heart feels set on this path. Honestly, this isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way. When I was younger, I also developed feelings for a Muslim sister, but back then, being an atheist, I wasn’t ready to embrace Islam, and we drifted apart. Now, finding myself in a similar situation again, I can’t help but wonder: is this a sign from Allah, guiding me to Islam and to her? Is it okay to interpret things this way? I’m also reflecting on my intentions. If I revert to Islam out of a sincere desire to marry her, but my devotion to Allah is true and genuine, is that acceptable? And am I being fair to her by asking her to wait this long? What should I do if, in the future, she changes her mind about the engagement? Sometimes I worry-is this just a phase, or is it a meaningful turning point in my life? Jazak'Allah khair for any advice you can share.