Finding Peace in the Quran during a Really Tough Time
As-salamu alaykum. I'm F and married. My family and I were raised Catholic, but my husband practices a different faith. Lately I've been struggling with depression and panic attacks, and during one of the hardest stretches I started reading the Quran. I can't fully explain why, but reading it calms me in a way nothing else has - my thoughts stop feeling so chaotic. It's a bit ironic because I spent my life identifying as Catholic, and there are parts of that tradition I never fully connected with. Over time I found myself praying to God alone: asking forgiveness first, then offering thanks, and finally making personal supplications. That's become my routine. I also quietly support animal sanctuaries and children's charities; nobody in my family knows about that. They still picture me as the party girl I used to be. This year I've also committed to staying sober. I've thought about converting, but I know it would be really hard given my family background and my husband's reaction - he gets upset whenever I bring up reading the Quran or the idea of converting. I realize I might not get support or acceptance right away. For now I'm reading the Quran privately and hoping that, in time, they'll come to respect whatever path I choose. I just needed to share this - it's been one of the biggest challenges I've faced.