Finding Peace in Islam While Struggling with Severe Anxiety
Assalamu alaykum, I grew up in a Muslim home, but it followed a different branch of Islam. I don't want to speak ill of it - it helped me in many ways. I married my husband in 2021. He embraced Islam at 15, and through him I truly learned about the deen for the first time. Before that I carried a lot of misconceptions and prejudices, even though I knew they weren't right. I never spoke badly about Islam, but I also didn't turn fully toward it. I wish I had earlier, but now I've found my way. About six months ago I officially accepted Islam. I'm trying to learn how to pray and to find some calm. The first time I reached out to Allah was because about a year ago I began having severe panic attacks and anxiety. It improved for a while, but recently my husband, my child, and I all had COVID. We recovered, but we're still not at full strength physically, and my anxiety hit me hard again. Even though I converted months ago and learned a lot, life got busy. I turn to Allah daily, but I haven't been consistent with all my obligations. With this intense return of anxiety, something inside me started searching desperately for hope. The only true hope I find is in Allah. Whenever I say His name or hear it, I begin to cry - the tears just come. I feel guilty for not coming back to Him sooner. Please don't judge me. I understand Islam more now, but I'm still working on letting go of old habits to truly embrace its beauty. This is a very heavy period for me. I'm scared my struggles might push my family away, because I know it affects them too. I don't even know how to pray properly or what exactly to ask Allah for. I keep asking Him for forgiveness and protection, especially for my family. I live in constant worry and feel lost. I'm not asking for pity. If you could share a few duʿāʾs, short surahs, or simple words of comfort that might ease my heart even a little, I'd be so grateful. JazakAllahu khayran for reading.