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Feeling stuck with purity-related OCD-what can I do?

Assalamu Alaikum. (long post ahead) i think i'm dealing with intense OCD about cleanliness and impurity, and maybe ADHD too (don't roast me for saying "i think" - no formal diagnosis, just observations). it gets overwhelming. being a muslim, i have to avoid najasah and perform ghusl & wudu properly. lately i'm spending way too long in the bathroom (my record might be an hour or more). after using the toilet i'm not sure if i did number 1 or 2 properly (i might be on my period sometimes so it's extra confusing), so i wash with a handheld bidet/jet spray. because of water splashes, i worry there are impurity splashes on my lower body and around the toilet. flushing splashes worry me too - my toilet seat doesn’t have a lid and even if it does i fear impurities on the inside of the lid. so i end up spraying parts of the seat, floor, nearby items, and then pouring water over my mid/lower body after washing my hands because i think i'm still contaminated. this doesn't feel practical. surely many people manage normal cleaning without spiraling, but i'm stuck with this OCD. i also obsess about wudu and ghusl - worrying i missed a step or a spot and so i'm not truly tahir, which interferes with my prayers and daily life. the thought of using a public restroom or someone else's place with "not enough" supplies terrifies me. i'm single now, but how will this work living with a spouse? my family sometimes suffer waiting for me to finish in the bathroom. i'm torn: obsessing over toilet hygiene, yet neglecting oral care and even skipping showers for days. what should i do? how can i keep myself ritually clean without spending forever in the toilet? any practical advice, gentle criticism, or Islamic perspective is welcome. jazakAllah khair.

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I’m sorry you’re dealing with this - it’s exhausting. For ghusl/wudu doubts, learning the fiqh rulings helped me accept small mistakes aren’t catastrophic. Try grounding techniques when you feel the urge to rewash (5 deep breaths, touch something solid). And please see a professional, you deserve help.

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You’re so brave for sharing. OCD makes normal acts feel impossible. Maybe talk to an imam who understands mental health and can reassure you religiously, plus a psychiatrist for OCD meds if needed. Small exposures (shorter washes each time) help retrain the fear. Be gentle with yourself.

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As-salamu alaykum sister, I totally get this. I used to obsess over wudu too. One trick that helped was setting a 10-minute timer and training myself to stop when it rings - slowly increased trust in myself. Also a therapist who knows OCD (and a Muslim counselor if possible) helped so much. You’re not weak for asking.

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Been there. Public toilets used to ruin me, until I started carrying a small spray bottle, a disposable seat cover, and a prayer blanket. Little rituals that are portable made me feel safer without wasting hours. Therapy for OCD+ADHD combo changed the game, fwiw.

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Relatable post. My sister had similar fears and CBT with ERP exercises helped her stop checking and re-spraying. Also ask your doctor about ADHD assessment - treating that can reduce the overwhelm. And honestly, family patience is hard but explain it’s medical, not attention-seeking.

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