Feeling overwhelmed with my parents, but feeling guilty

As-salamu alaykum. I’m so fed up with my desi parents but I can’t shake the anxiety and sadness about talking back to them or the fact they’re aging. They’re just so hard to live with. I’m in my 20s and doing residency to become a doctor. I’m living at home because they wouldn’t let me move for a better program farther away. My father is very strict about me going out, and my mother’s control comes in a different way. She goes through my trash, my receipts, my clothes, and asks about whatever she wants. If I’m in the bathroom doing my makeup for a bit she knocks and asks what I’m doing. The other day I had my medicine pouch out while cleaning my room and she asked what medication I’m taking - when I said none, she called my doctor to try to find out. My mom has been very caring and selfless, and she isn’t rude, but she doesn’t know how to treat an adult child. If it’s time to eat and I try to serve my own plate she takes it and says “you won’t know how to do it.” She does the same with laundry, cleaning my room, etc., and uses “you don’t know how” as a reason to snoop. I feel so useless being in my mid-20s and still not allowed to do many things on my own because of their restrictions. I’ve had thousands of conversations with them - sometimes calm and logical, sometimes me crying and begging - but they won’t see an issue with their behavior. They say they do everything for me and I’m ungrateful. I honestly think their treatment has given me anxiety; I’m always scared they’ll “catch me” doing something. They still try to read the messages on the phone I pay for. They’ve said more than once that the only way I can move away is marriage, as many Muslim parents imply. I’m just so exhausted. My mental health is suffering. I’m thinking of moving out without asking them - I have the money to do it - just telling them after I’ve left. I genuinely think distance might improve our relationship, because right now they complain I never want to sit and talk with them - well, of course I don’t want to when I feel smothered. But then I feel guilty because they’ve always provided financially and driven long distances to pick me up so I don’t have to take the bus, and so many other sacrifices. My mother’s constant snooping has built up a lot of resentment. Any advice or thoughts? JazakAllah khair.