Feeling Lost - Need Some Guidance, Please

Assalamu alaikum. I honestly feel like I can't care about anything anymore. Is the Prophet (pbuh) really the most beloved to Allah (swt)? Why is that? I understand he went through extremely difficult trials and did everything he could, carrying the message of Islam on his shoulders. But didn't other people also push past their limits and use the gifts Allah (swt) gave them to support the Prophet (pbuh)? Didn't they try their hardest too? If I can't ever be loved by Allah (swt) the way He loves the Prophet (pbuh), I don't know why I should keep trying. What's the point? I won't care about anything anymore if I can't be the most beloved to Allah (swt)... and I'm not saying others shouldn't be loved- I just thought everyone had a chance to be the most beloved. I don't get it and I don't think I ever will. It hurts so much. I feel like dying. I don't see the point of trying to be a good Muslim anymore except to avoid Hell. Why can't I be the most beloved? Why can't others be the most beloved? Why can't we all be the most beloved as a group? Why does one person get that status? Please don't attack me - though I don't even know if I care about attacks anymore. Someone please answer my questions. Honestly, what was the point of trying until now? Maybe I should just give up. (And yes, part of me says this to get sympathy, and then I say that to trick myself, so what do I even want?) I don't want to live, I don't want to die - what kind of limbo is this? Why, why, why? InshaAllah someone can help me understand.