Feeling Lost in My Struggle with Addiction
As-salamu alaykum everyone. I reverted to Islam about eight months ago, and I want to share what I'm going through. This Ramadan has been incredibly challenging for me. I’ve been smoking cigarettes and vaping for ten years, and this is my first Ramadan having to give them up. I love Allah, I truly do, but quitting during fasting hours has been so difficult that I feel overwhelmed. It’s left me feeling like I’m failing as a Muslim because I can’t overcome this habit. I’ve heard advice like 'repent and try again,' but then I'd have to make up each day of Ramadan, which feels even more impossible than quitting nicotine. Why keep repenting if I keep falling back into the same thing? It started to feel disrespectful, so I stopped repenting and have nearly stopped praying this month. How can I call myself a Muslim if I can’t even put down a cigarette for Allah? I feel stuck, discouraged, and like I’m losing my iman over this. I really want to be a good Muslim, but if I can’t fast properly, what’s the point? Sometimes I wonder if I’m just overthinking it all. May Allah make it easy for everyone struggling.