Feeling Lost After Medication Side Effects

Assalamu alaikum everyone, I’m a 26-year-old practicing Muslim, and up until a couple months back, life was amazing. I got engaged last October, had our nikkah, and was really excited for the future with my wife-I love her so much. We were planning our wedding for next year, looking to get a house, and dreaming of starting a family. Then my health took a bad turn, and I’m worried everything’s slipping away. After we got married, I started getting insecure about losing some hair. It wasn’t even that noticeable, but I wanted to fix it before our big wedding so I wouldn’t end up bald. I came across finasteride online and heard it works really well for hair loss, especially after transplants. People said side effects-if they happened-were temporary and would go away if you stopped the pills. So I asked my doctor about it when I went in for a shoulder problem. At first, he told me I didn’t need it, but I pushed to try. He only mentioned it might lower libido, nothing else. I started with a tiny dose daily for two weeks, then stopped when I noticed something felt off. Two weeks later, I woke up in the middle of the night with a panic attack-I thought I was dying. Couldn’t sleep at all. Things calmed down a bit after, but I still couldn’t sleep right and realized something was seriously wrong. I started feeling dizzy, getting headaches, losing my emotions, and struggling to talk. I prayed to Allah for help, totally confused. Inside, I just felt empty, like I wasn’t myself anymore. Now it’s been five weeks, and I’ve got both physical and mental issues. My muscles have shrunk, I’m exhausted all the time, my skin got way softer (used to be dry and rough), and I’m facing major sexual problems. Looking back, I think it’s all from that medicine. Every day I’m scared of losing everything because my personality and feelings have changed-I can’t feel joy or happiness anymore. It’s hard for anyone healthy to get what this is like. Doctors haven’t been much help. I did blood tests for hormones, and they came back bad for my age. I’m terrified about what comes next. Since five weeks have passed with no real improvement, I’m scared I’ll lose my wife because I’m not the person she married, and everyone can see it. My whole family’s worried, and I feel like I’m letting them down. Every day, with these empty, emotionless feelings, I get really dark thoughts. It’s like I’ve lost myself completely, and I’m afraid this is permanent, that I’ll lose everything. I never had issues like this before-always healthy, always feeling good. And now, in what should be the best part of my life, this nightmare happens. Alhamdulillah, I’m grateful I didn’t die that night, but living like this is unbearable. I pray every day for things to go back to normal and try not to lose hope. Since doctors haven’t helped yet, I’m making dua for a miracle to be myself again. I really need advice and support, and ask for your duas. I’m holding onto my faith, even though it’s super hard with these psychological symptoms and my mind filled with negativity and hopelessness. InshaAllah, if possible, I want to go for Umrah next month and pray I come back healthy. Does anyone have ideas on what else I can do or know someone who could help treat this? I don’t want to give up hope-my whole life feels on the line. I keep wondering if this is a test, a punishment for past sins, or just my own fault for unintentionally hurting myself. Honestly, I have no idea what to do anymore.