Feeling Lost About My Hijab and Identity - Assalamu'alaikum sisters

Assalamu'alaikum dear sisters, I’m 24F and I’ve worn the hijab all my life, but lately I’m realising maybe my reasons for wearing it aren’t always right. It feels more tied to how I see myself than anything spiritual. I’ve always had low self-esteem, and over time the hijab became an easy way to hide. I’ve neglected my hair for years so covering it feels simpler. It’s ironic because I actually think I look nicer with it on, but sometimes I just wish I could move around without overthinking everything. I do my best with dua, praying, reading Qur’an and adhkar, yet these thoughts keep showing up. I sometimes feel like I’m too restricted in my own head, like parts of me are labelled as wrong. I don’t always feel sincere, and that guilt sits heavy. My relationship with my mum is part of this. She’s happy that I wear the hijab and I love making her pleased, but I remember going out one night without it, my hair in a bun, and feeling oddly free for a few minutes. Some older women noticed and my mum reacted very strongly. I was shamed and it stuck with me - made me want to hide even more. At the same time I don’t want to slip backwards. I feel stuck. I honestly feel unattractive with or without the hijab. I don’t know how to do makeup, I’ve mostly been cooped up in my room for years, and I’ve drifted away from friends. One friend hasn’t replied in over eight months. I can be boring, I know, but I’m trying to pick up small hobbies and read more to build a life. People know me as quite religious, and that sometimes makes these thoughts feel even more invalid. Others act like I shouldn’t care or that I’m somehow above this kind of struggle. I feel like I missed those normal teenage phases of figuring things out and making mistakes - now it’s happening later and that confuses me. I keep wondering why this hadn’t happened earlier. I’m aware of much bigger harms in the world, like what our brothers and sisters in Sudan and elsewhere are enduring. I’m praying for them constantly and I don’t want to seem self-absorbed. But these feelings have been heavy on my heart. I don’t really know what I want from writing this - maybe just to get it out. If any sisters have felt tired, confused, or unsure about their hijab or identity and found a way forward, I’d appreciate hearing how you coped and what helped. Jazakum Allah khair for listening.