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3 months ago

Feeling like my hijab is seen as a style choice, not a faith choice - As-salamu alaykum

As-salamu alaykum. I started wearing the hijab to school in August and I really like it. I have small doubts sometimes but Alhamdulillah so far it’s been manageable. When I wear it, nobody asks me what it means or why I wear it. Lately I think that’s a problem because people don’t really get what it means to me spiritually. A few weird things have happened. A girl I used to be close to but drifted from saw me and asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?” I laughed and said no, then she asked, “Do you want a boyfriend?” and I said definitely not, lol. I brushed it off since we used to chat about boys, maybe she was just curious. On Friday a boy I texted two years ago walked out of a room as I walked in. We made eye contact, I kept walking, then he called out my name with a huge smile and wave. We haven’t talked in years - it felt odd and confusing. Also, a boy in my calculus class who I’ve never been friends with keeps trying to interact. Since I started wearing hijab he’s always waving and saying hi. Once I tried to ignore him to see if he’d stop; instead he moved closer so I would have to look at him and talk. It felt uncomfortable and weird. I put the hijab on partly to avoid talking to unrelated men, but it almost feels like I’m getting more attention. I don’t know what they’re hoping to get - are they testing boundaries? I just want to be left alone, honestly. I also don’t get why people keep asking if I have or want a boyfriend - even if I did, it wouldn’t be permissible (not halal) outside marriage. I don’t think these people understand that hijab for me is about faith and modesty, not a fashion statement. Has anyone else dealt with this? Any advice on how to handle awkward attention politely but firmly would be really appreciated. JazakAllahu khairan.

+212

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7comments
3 months ago

Ugh yes this happened to me too. I started saying “It’s for my faith” when asked and most ppl back off. If someone gets pushy, bring a friend or speak to staff.

+7
3 months ago

Sending support. Little white lies like “I’m focused on studies/prayer” helped deflect curiosity without drama. But don’t tolerate touching or following - that’s harassment, get help.

+19
3 months ago

Honestly, their questions are rude. You could reply with a teasing “None of your business” or a calm “I don’t discuss that.” Either works depending on vibe.

+9
3 months ago

I feel this so much. Some people treat hijab like a trend. I found setting clear boundaries - no small talk with certain guys - helps. And trust your gut. Stay safe ♥

+6
3 months ago

I’d echo reporting repeated harassment. Also consider sitting with protective friends in class and blocking the guy online. You shouldn’t have to explain your faith to feel safe.

+12
3 months ago

As-salamu alaykum sister, been there. Short, firm replies and a calm “I’m not interested” worked for me. If it keeps up, report to a teacher. You don’t owe anyone explanations.

+7
3 months ago

Same. I got more attention when I began wearing mine. I try a smile + one-sentence answer then walk away. If he follows, I say loudly “Please stop” so others hear.

+4
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