Feeling like I'm Forcing My Faith - Need Advice

Assalamu alaykum, I reverted to Islam 1.5 years ago. At first I had people around me - my ex-husband was Muslim and even after we separated he was still in my life for a bit, so I felt some support. Not long after, though, I lost everyone. Friends drifted away, the ex revealed his true colours and I stepped back. Now I have no one close to me. I have ADHD and have been through really difficult years, so I haven’t felt like myself since long before I embraced Islam. It’s been so hard to relearn things and rebuild discipline after the life I lived. I’m really disappointed in myself. It feels like I’m forcing myself to be Muslim. I know Islam is the truth, but I don’t feel an emotional connection to it - in fact I struggle to feel anything except the effects of trauma. I understand everyone’s path is different and mental health affects things a lot, but I even moved to a Muslim country hoping to escape my old life and focus on growing closer to Allah. Still, I’ve not managed it; I get too distracted and my mind is overwhelmed. I feel like I have no excuse - I’m not a brand new revert - yet I forget to make dua, I don’t pray regularly though my heart wants to. I’m at a point where I don’t know how to return to Allah properly. People say “pray and seek forgiveness,” but how do I do that when I can’t focus? I feel uneducated and like I should be much further along than I am. Any practical advice, tips, or gentle reminders would mean a lot. I’m really lost and would appreciate guidance from others who’ve struggled and found a way forward.