Feeling Like a Hypocrite in My Worship
Assalamu alaikum, folks. I’ve been staying on top of my prayers for nearly two months now, alhamdulillah, and I’m 24. I missed so many years of salah before and got lazy, but now I’m trying to be consistent. I’m also on day 37 of nofap! Thing is, I still slip sometimes-maybe once a week or every ten days I sneak a glance at haram stuff for a minute when I feel weak. It’s getting rarer, but I can’t quit completely. Right after, I wash up, make wudu, and pray without missing a single salah. I’ve been going to Jummah at the masjid for five or six weeks straight now too. It feels awful, like my nafs gave in to watching filth and then I stand before Allah as if nothing happened. Marriage isn’t an option yet-I’m a broke college student, dentistry is tough, and I’ve got to support my family first, so I can’t really spend on myself. It’s a struggle.