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3 months ago

Feeling Left Out in Muslim Groups - Need Advice

As-salamu alaykum. I moved to NYC for college and it's been a tough adjustment. I've tried to connect through my school's MSA and other Muslim groups, but my experiences have been pretty discouraging. The main MSA is mostly Arab and South Asian, while I'm East African. At the first event this semester I tried to talk to some of the Arab girls but they mostly shut down conversations. People stuck to their own cliques and didn't include me. I was the only Black girl there, and it felt like no one wanted to talk to me while they all seemed to be having a great time together. After the event, some of them made plans to go get boba and left me out - I was alone the whole time. I can't help but think my color played a part. There is also an African Muslim group on campus, which I tried too, but again I struggled to find people who wanted to talk or welcome me in. I've had other moments where I felt treated differently because I'm Black, and it really hurts. Overall it's been hard to make Muslim friends at college because many girls seem focused on being friends only with Arab and South Asian Muslims. I've tried so much to build friendships but haven't had success, and I'm really sad about it. Does anyone have advice on how to find supportive Muslim sisters here, or ways to cope with feeling excluded? JazakAllah khair.

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5comments
3 months ago

This hit me. NYC can be isolating but honestly reaching out to people individually (coffee, library) helped me. Also maybe check local community centers or mosque sisters' programs.

0
3 months ago

So heartbreaking. If cliques are strong, it’s not you. Consider therapy or campus counseling for support while you search for better circles. You deserve friends who see you.

+4
3 months ago

Sending love. Also try volunteering with Muslim student groups or interfaith clubs - you might meet compassionate people outside the usual cliques. Keep being you, sis.

+9
3 months ago

Oh hun, I’m so sorry - that sounds really painful. Maybe try smaller events or start a study group? One-on-one invites can break cliques. Don’t give up, there are kind sisters out there.

+10
3 months ago

I’ve felt similarly at uni. Could you try hosting a small get-together or study session and invite a couple people? Smaller settings feel safer and people open up more.

+3
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